Friday, October 2, 2009

Take Captive Every Thought

Last night I didn't sleep very well. I went to bed late, couldn't get comfortable, and Ted's snoring was worse than normal. I tried sleeping on the couch, but I'm used to someone next to me, so I went back to my bed. I finally was able to fall asleep using the earplugs I wear during band practices. Yes, the snoring was that loud. Then Timothy came into my bed in the wee hours. So I knew it was going to be a rough day.

While I was showering, I felt really down. I kept thinking about finances, life circumstances, body image issues... and the world was turning dark and overwhelming. And then I remembered that I hadn't had much sleep, and that perhaps this depression was really just physical exhaustion. So I felt better, but then my mind kept drifting to the same problems, and I'd feel discouraged again. So I told myself again that nothing had changed but my perspective, I was just tired. Every time I had a negative thought, I had to tell myself the truth. "Take captive every thought" (2 Cor. 10:5). Arrest the thought, deflect it, replace it. Repeat as needed.

It still surprises me how fast I can feel overwhelmed and depressed. If I had given in to the negative thoughts, I could have been immobilized by the end of my shower, and it would've been that much harder to remind myself of God's truth. Little things like sleep make a HUGE difference in being able to manage thoughts and emotions. And when I feel vulnerable to attacks of discouragement, that's when I need to stay closer and cling harder to God.

Later in the morning, I was able to play some worship songs on my piano and just rest in His presence. I felt completely refreshed and re-centered again. And when Timothy took his nap, I took a little one, too. The combination of sleep + God's presence = peace. Sounds simple, but it's easy to forget in the emotional breakdown. Fortunately, God is really nice and nudges me in the right direction when I start to lose my way. Hopefully, I'll remember tomorrow when the daily chaos strikes again. But for tonight, I'll try to get more sleep. I think I'll be proactive and use my earplugs right away this time.


Ted Wallace said...

I'll also try not to snore too loud and add to the chaos. I love you, this post was a good reminder for me too. Have a good day, babe.


Sara said...

Hey girl! I saw your blog on Facebook and thought I would check it out! I had to comment because our women's bible study this year is called Detox: revisited (we did another Detox study a couple of years ago) and we just studied the topic of negative thinking and body image (along with self-acceptance and anxiety). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know. You can listen to the audio of the messages anytime if you go to and click on the audio header on the right hand side.

I hope it doesn't seem like I am trying to "fix" anything though - I hate it when people do that! I just wanted to let you know!

Sara Taylor

tammy said...

That was really good. I've had days like that a lot of times, but I'm sorry to say, I forget to "take captive every thought". Maybe next time I will remember. Thanks.

KimDoll said...

i LOVE the verse you quoted. i think it's going to be my mantra for many of my days.

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