Take Captive Every Thought

Last night I didn't sleep very well. I went to bed late, couldn't get comfortable, and Ted's snoring was worse than normal. I tried sleeping on the couch, but I'm used to someone next to me, so I went back to my bed. I finally was able to fall asleep using the earplugs I wear during band practices. Yes, the snoring was that loud. Then Timothy came into my bed in the wee hours. So I knew it was going to be a rough day.

While I was showering, I felt really down. I kept thinking about finances, life circumstances, body image issues... and the world was turning dark and overwhelming. And then I remembered that I hadn't had much sleep, and that perhaps this depression was really just physical exhaustion. So I felt better, but then my mind kept drifting to the same problems, and I'd feel discouraged again. So I told myself again that nothing had changed but my perspective, I was just tired. Every time I had a negative thought, I had to tell myself the truth. "Take captive every thought" (2 Cor. 10:5). Arrest the thought, deflect it, replace it. Repeat as needed.

It still surprises me how fast I can feel overwhelmed and depressed. If I had given in to the negative thoughts, I could have been immobilized by the end of my shower, and it would've been that much harder to remind myself of God's truth. Little things like sleep make a HUGE difference in being able to manage thoughts and emotions. And when I feel vulnerable to attacks of discouragement, that's when I need to stay closer and cling harder to God.

Later in the morning, I was able to play some worship songs on my piano and just rest in His presence. I felt completely refreshed and re-centered again. And when Timothy took his nap, I took a little one, too. The combination of sleep + God's presence = peace. Sounds simple, but it's easy to forget in the emotional breakdown. Fortunately, God is really nice and nudges me in the right direction when I start to lose my way. Hopefully, I'll remember tomorrow when the daily chaos strikes again. But for tonight, I'll try to get more sleep. I think I'll be proactive and use my earplugs right away this time.

New Jewelry and Art Prints for Sale

I was lucky enough to win this month's art giveaway from Leah Piken Kolidas. She has a great blog called Creative Every Day that I encourage you to check out. This is the print I received today, called "At Sea," which I can't wait to add to my wall collection of art prints.

I also updated my Etsy shop recently with some goodies. Here's a pair of upcycled orange earrings and aqua floral earrings. All of my earrings are made from reclaimed materials (except for the ear hooks), so they are one of a kind, lightweight, and inexpensive!

I've also added some new art prints and photographs. This is a print of my original mixed media art "Wonder," and a picture called "English Countryside."

Stop by my Etsy shop to see more art prints and unique jewelry!

Fun With Fail

Ok, I usually don't do this... but I just discovered the funniest website, and I had to share some of my favorites. There are about 300 pages of hilarious pictures and videos. Go to http://www.failblog.org/ to see more.

How do you mistake this for a cat?

I'm all about upcycling, but this southern halter goes too far!

It was probably his first and last fall, and wouldn't you know it, the Queen rides by.

so bad for publicity

poor kid

some groups you don't want to leave

lazy worker fail

how?!

hope fail- what message are we sending here?

privacy fail- I like the chairs facing the toilets

safety fail- a plastic bag, really?

boundaries in relationships fail

transporting hay fail

catch fail

canoe fail

should have read the sign fail

flying bat fail

axe murderer fail- hmm, no one stopping?...

Spark Story- Stalker

The Spark site is up and running, so stop by to see some amazing art and writing talent. I must say I was quite surprised by my partner's inspiration art. It's much darker than I had expected, but I started writing and tried to let it go where it wanted. I still had to reel it in at the end- I'm too much of an optimist (I need happy endings). Here's the art by Jasen Nicely and my response to it. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Jacen Nicely
Inspiration piece provided to Michelle Wallace

Stalker
By Michelle Wallace

Sara woke up from a restless sleep and glanced at the clock. Crap, it was already after ten o’clock. She groaned as she forced her legs to move from under the covers to the floor. Stumbling past her mirror, she noticed that once again she’d forgotten to remove her makeup from the previous evening. The black mascara mingled with glittery blue made her look like a fancy raccoon. Yikes, not picture friendly today, she thought.

After a hot shower, she was finally able to focus her attention on the day’s tasks. She had a voicemail from her manager telling her how great last night’s show had been. Sara smiled as she remembered the concert. There had been a good turnout, and despite several minor irritations with the sound system, it was one of her better shows. She had sung her heart out and flowed with the crowd’s energy.

She frowned as she remembered the creepy guy who cornered her as she was packing up her gear. He had piercing eyes and personal space issues. Sara always made a point of being friendly to fans, but this guy was making it difficult. He mistook her courtesy for an open invitation to be crass. She had two simultaneous thoughts- Is this guy for real? and, Run away! Luckily, her drummer came to the rescue and asked her to solve a merchandise problem. By the time all the equipment was loaded, the weirdo was fortunately nowhere to be seen.

She flipped through her calendar to see when the next show was and made a mental note to call her bandmates about some changes she wanted to make. She sent out a few emails and then went outside to check the mailbox. No thank you, I don’t need another credit card. God, I hate junk mail.

And then she saw it.
The black envelope with her name in silvery ink.

Hmm, I don’t think anyone’s getting married that I know of. What is this?

She slid her fingernail under the seal and took out the contents with faint curiosity. On the card was a black crow with feathers scattered around it. Bright red eyes stared back at hers. But most distressing were the words written next to the bird- “He’s watching and waiting.”

Sara nearly tripped on the door frame as she read the words. She flipped the card over and scanned the envelope for a return address. Nothing, not even a stamp. No clue as to the sender. Suddenly feeling very paranoid and vulnerable, she shut the front door and locked it quickly. She shivered in the warm room. Her thoughts raced as she tried to compose herself.

It’s probably a joke. Yeah, my twisted brother just wanted to have a good laugh at my expense. Or maybe it was Jackson. Her guitarist had always had a warped sense of humor.

But what if it was for real? That guy from the show was really weird. Maybe…
No, she wouldn’t let herself even think it. Trying as best she could to put it out of her mind, Sara went along with her day. She tried not to think about it during her run, but she had nothing to distract her brain from wandering. She pushed her legs faster, watched the trees blur on both sides of the trail. Up ahead she noticed a man jogging towards her. Instinctively she glanced away, but not before their eyes caught for a brief second. As she passed him, she felt his gaze on her. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. She picked up her pace even more.

A branch snapped nearby, startling her out of her thoughts. She looked into the trees, wildly searching for movement. She imagined someone hiding there, just waiting for her to come close. The thought made her almost leap with terror.

Overhead, a cloud covered the sun and left the trail in shadows. Her normal sunny routine suddenly felt like a scene from a horror movie. And she was the victim. Innocent girl wanders into the woods, where the hatchetman watched and waited. Blood red thirst, like the crow eyes on the card. Oh, God! She suppressed a scream and ran as fast as her legs could carry her down the trail, until she suddenly tripped on a rock that had fallen on the path. Thud! She landed in a heap of physical and mental exhaustion. Panic melted into hot tears of fear and frustration and confusion.

After a while Sara collected herself and wearily drove home. She immediately got the creepy card and without looking at it, threw it into the trashcan. She determined not to freak out about it anymore. Just then her cell phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered nervously.

“I’m watching you.”

Her heart stopped for a second.

Suddenly, laughter broke out on the other end of the line. Wait, was that Jackson’s laugh?

“Jackson? You jerk! You scared me to death! What do you want?” she spat out in one relieved breath.

“Did you like my card?” he laughed.

“What? Wait- you sent me that horrible card!? What in the world…!”

“Yeah, I was just messing with you. I saw that weird guy talking to you at the show, and I thought it would be funny if you had your own personal stalker. Thought I’d make you squirm a bit before I confessed,” Jackson said, obviously pleased with himself.

Right then, Sara decided she would get even. She would be patient, wait until he was relaxed and comfortable. Oh, yeah. A slow smile began to form in anticipation.

Reaching and Returns

Well, things are slowly returning to normal after a busy summer. The sound of silence is priceless! Of course, I only get that when Timothy takes a nap, but it's still something.

I just finished up another round of the SPARK art/writing challenge, so I'll post on that when the site is finished, but I thought I'd at least show you my art piece. It's called "Reaching," based off of the writing my friend did.

Ted & I have done a lot of soul searching for direction lately, and I think we're heading in the right direction. Next semester we're both going back to school for our masters degrees- his in Urban Affairs & Social Work, and I'm switching mine from Counseling to Social Work. God keeps pulling on my heart strings to help people in practical ways, holistically- body, mind, and spirit.

Recently, I was able to go with a friend who ministers to women in the sex industry. It was my first experience seeing where it all takes place, and I wasn't really sure how I'd react. We visited 4 local brothels (I was shocked to see how many there were in our city!) and gave the women homemade brownies with Scripture verses on them. We just told them we cared about them and asked them if they needed prayer for anything. The verses talked about how God had created them with a purpose in mind and that they were valuable. Even though we weren't able to go inside this time, I know God's word never returns void, and I'm praying that the truth of those verses will sink deep into their souls.

I've also been challenged to return to writing more. I still need to finish my book. I had put it aside for a while as I was doing more art, but now it's calling my name again. Last night I was wondering if I was dumb for even trying to do this, if this was just a big waste of time. But this morning I read a devotional that talked about this writer and how words really impact others. I knew God was reminding me that I'm writing this book for a purpose. Even though it's tough to keep it up without feedback, and I'm my worst critic, I have to keep trying. I'm not writing it for me. I'm writing it for others, and I pray that it will bless someone out there when it's finished.

Favorite Art from Etsians

I thought I'd post some of my recent favorite art from Etsy, just to shake things up a bit. I tend to get a little restless if things are too routine. :)

I love how free the girl looks in this print, by TheBrilliantMagpie.

This one makes me smile, from hsinping.

I want to hang this one in my daughter's room, from johnwgolden's shop.

I love the dreamy look and the landscape, by audreyeclectic.

This print is so colorful and fun, from beethings.

You just gotta love a pink haired princess, by lionbeforelamb.

I love the creepy trees around this girl, from swanbones.

Have a great week!

Girl Show and Ted's Accident

Well, we had a busy week. The Girl Show was just as awesome as I expected, with tons of artists, musicians, and designers. There was even a tribal dance group, henna tattoos, massages, and a lady spinning yarn. So many cool things to watch, I think even the ADD among us were content.

Ted was a trooper and helped watch the table for me when I went next door to sing a few songs on the open mic. He also built the cool jewelry stand out of scraps from work.

What's really impressive is that he helped me, despite the use of only one hand. I'm sure he's tired of telling the story, so let me. On Thursday he was helping move some shelving units at work, when they slipped and fell on his hand. He ended up having to get a bone graph on his ring finger, but they had to remove part of his middle finger, between the nail and first joint. He's feeling better every day, but is still in pain. So yeah, it's been quite a week!