A Good Self-Talk

The show on Friday was a success! We had a great turnout and lots of energy from the crowd. My only 2 goals at a show: talk to people (push past the awkwardness and try not to let them see it) and have fun. For most people, these goals are very simple, a natural byproduct of performing. For an artistic introvert however, being relaxed in front of a crowd is a huge chore. So I'm happy to say that I met my goals for the evening.

I was especially nervous because I was selling my art for the first time in public. So in addition to my already exposed lyrics and vocals, I felt extra vulnerable. There were now multiple ways to judge and reject me. But I was happily surprised by peoples' reactions. I ended up selling almost $100 worth of my art! Hopefully my newfound confidence will carry over.

While I'm so thankful to have opportunities to explore art and music, writing has been somewhat disappointing lately. After attending a writer's conference a few months ago, I came away feeling overwhelmed and disillusioned. I had been pouring all of my efforts into writing my book, but after listening to the speakers, it seemed futile. 

The odds are definitely against me as a writer. But this afternoon, I had a good talk with myself about it. I asked myself why I wanted to write. The part of me that was disappointed was the part that hoped to earn a living from writing. But the part of me that longed to share hope with other women- that part didn't care at all what anyone thought, or if it was published by a big name, or even made any  money. 

So I thankfully reminded myself that I am compelled to write, and I challenged myself to keep doing it. This weekend I'm going to visit my in-laws and give myself a "writing retreat." And I will keep looking for opportunities to write, regardless of the pay or visibility. Because I honestly want to help encourage other people, I will seek out creative ways to do it. Maybe sending a card to someone on my heart or calling up a friend just to tell her how awesome she is. I don't have to wait for someone to ask me to be a blessing. I'm going to start living that out intentionally.

Finding Cadence show this Friday!

If you're in the Dallas area, come out this Friday and see our show! We've got some fabulous new songs and some twists on the classics. Our band's mission is to raise awareness of social justice issues and point towards hope and love. I'm also going to be selling some of my artwork at the show (jewelry and prints of my paintings). Best of all- the show is FREE! So there's no excuse to miss out on this incredible night of music, art, coffee and friends! Hope to see you there!

Blue Party

My favorite color in the whole world is blue. It reminds me of sky, water, my baby's eyes... so many beautiful things. When I saw Etsy Cottage Style was having a Blog Blue Party, I decided that I had to participate. Since I have lots of blue around the house, I thought I'd share some of my favorite blue things.

I found this great tote on etsy

a beautiful teacup from Japan (I collect cups and saucers)

I made this clock from an old record and pages from the book I'm writing. I need to find longer hands for it, though. It's a work in progress!

I love this aqua vase I found at an antique store. I have a collection of blue and green vases that I need to get down from the attic, now that I think about it.  ;)

my favorite painting- Van Gogh's "Starry Night"

I made this mosaic frame and put one of our band's promo cards in it.

I love this statue!

This last picture is of my 2 mostly used items- "Streams in the Desert" by L.B. Cowman is a collection of devotionals for hard times (highly recommend reading it), and of course my ipod. What would life be like without music?

Extravagant Love in Public

 

I had the privilege of reading a poem I'd been asked to write last Sunday. This is the third year our church was asked by the Deep Ellum Arts Festival to present a Sunday message. We were outside on the big stage, in the middle of Main Street in Dallas. What's so amazing about it is the fact that we were asked. Several years ago, Deep Ellum protested having a church in this arts and culture section of Dallas. But after years of working to improve our shared community, we earned their trust and a right to speak.

So Sunday's theme was love. The songs and poems people spoke of talked about true love, God's unconditional love for all people. Mimo (awesome songwriter/musician) performed one of my personal favorites "Let Justice Roll Down". Another musician, Ben, read a satiric modern day version of 1 Corinthians he had written, and my friend Justin (a founder of ArtLoveMagic) performed his spoken word poem about extravagant love. It was beautiful to take part in. Here's my poem:

I want to love and be loved

But my heart is scarred

I long to see clearly

But my vision is impaired

I'm handicapped by my humanity

This fog that surrounds me

Leaves me in shadows

My eyes can't penetrate

The layer of ignorance I walk in

I am lost and alone

Unable to help even myself

But your love pierces through my reality

And I realize how blind I've been

I have lived in a rainbow of gray

My passion is mediocre at best

Compared to your extravagant love

But in you, I am complete

Awakened to new life

New clarity, new colors, new hope

And though I am limited here

Held captive by my skin

Soon I will be unhindered

Fully embraced by you

I'm in Creative Playground!

My pendants are featured in Donna Downey's newsletter! Go check out her website, and I promise you'll be inspired by her amazing creativity. Thanks again for featuring me, Donna!

trash to treasure

Meet the designer of this really cool recycled masterpiece- Michelle Townsend Wallace. She is a writer, artist, and musician living in Dallas, Texas. She has a background in counseling and non-profits, and is always looking for opportunities to integrate her many passions. Michelle has been married for 11 years to her childhood sweetheart, and they have three children.  "When I was cleaning out our old spice rack, I used the jars for buttons and beads, but I didn't want to just throw away the little plastic filters. So I looped some jewelry wire through one of the holes in the filter, covered both sides with decorative papers, and added designs. I used vintage images, sheet music, watercolor paints and glitter to the pendants. Then I added some beads with jump rings to complete each unique art pendant." To find out more about Michelle visit... My Blog- www.myjourneytohope.blogspot.com My Music- www.findingcadence.com My Art- www.MixedEmotions.etsy.com

Seasons

I've been thinking a lot about the seasons lately. Usually I don't enjoy spring very much. It's too bright, chilly, and wet. I prefer the muted colors of fall. The wind and the storms and thoughts of snuggling up in blankets and pumpkin pie and costume parties. But I've felt like I've been living in a perpetual state of winter for the last few years. Dry, barren, colorless, cold. Lots of questions, no response. Isolation and restlessness have surrounded me for a long time. 

My sister wrote a song called "Winter" for our band, and it became my theme song. Every time she sings it, I plead the words in my heart:

            Winter, will you ever end?

            Winter, let us breathe again

And on the bridge, I remind God of His promise:

            You said that You

            You said that You would make me new

It builds and builds in intensity, the tension finally released in chords that bring resolution to the song's end. I wish I could play you the song, because it's incredibly beautiful and moving, so emotionally raw. It will be on our upcoming cd, though.

Every morning, one of the first things I do is to open all the curtains in our living room. I love the sunlight, watching the trees blow in the wind, the squirrels gather pecans, and the occasional birds or cats that wander into our backyard. Listening to the wind chimes singing their melodies. Nature refreshes me in a way that's hard to explain. And for some reason, I'm in awe of spring this year. Everything is so alive, so vivid and hopeful. I feel hopeful, too. I feel the sun warming my heart. Things that looked dead and barren inside of me are beginning to blossom with new life. It was unexpected, but it's beautiful. I feel so grateful to be waking up from winter at last. Now the brightness doesn't bother me. It is the brilliant light that makes the colors sparkle in the sun. And the wetness is good. The rain makes everything green. The water satisfies thirsty roots, parched from winter's dryness.

I've learned a lot in my season of winter. I understand how God must prune me back to my core so that I may flourish in His timing. When I'm exposed and vulnerable, all of my weaknesses are evident. I can't hide under the coverings that other seasons provided. And that is when I have learned to cry out to God. I depend on Him completely, trust Him with my very life. And just when I finally became content with this season of barrenness, this process of being pruned and exposed- spring unfurled around me. It makes me appreciate all the details of awakening even more. Hope has made the colors and sounds and textures come alive in my new season of springtime. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it this time around.