Update: Final Push!

Bonjour!

We wanted to let everyone know where we stand right now:

1. We have 87% of our budget so far. This leaves us $1290 left to raise in 2 weeks!

2. We leave in a little over 2 weeks! (July 18th)

3. We are really excited!

It seems like all we can do and think about right now is this trip to France. We have been in communication with our team there and with the family we will be staying with. We even have a list of worship songs in French to practice! For some more details, visit our website: www.liveconnectgrow.com.

This past week has been a real roller coaster ride. We have both felt very heavy at times and random problems seem to arise- like one of the windows on our truck shattering, our dryer going out, and the couple who hosted our party on Saturday was in a serious car accident on Friday.

Yet despite all of these efforts to distract and defeat us, we can feel our faith and our intimacy with God growing. I love seeing the amazement in our kids' eyes as they hear about God's miraculous provision day by day. They pray with such simple faith and sincerity for courage to share the Gospel with the children in France. And their child-like faith is a great reminder to us that our heavenly Father has not brought us this far to leave us undone.

Please continue to pray for us as we prepare to embark on this adventure that He has laid out before us. We ask you to specifically pray for:

* Our hearts and minds to be prepared to minister, and for the people we will be ministering to

* Unity with our entire team (we'll meet for the first time in Clermont-Ferrand)

* ALL of the logistical details to come together- hotels, trains, misc. things that we will probably forget :)

*Opportunities for our kids to see how God wants to use them in a real way

* The rest of the financial support that we need for the trip to come in

For those of you that have given, thank you!!! For those of you that still want to give, now is the time to be part of our miracle! As God keeps reminding me, "Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it" (Heb. 11:1). Thank you for partnering with us in prayer and support!

Much love,

Ted, Michelle, Emily, Daniel, Timothy & Judah

Overflowing

***Update: Wow! Thanks to some amazing people, we are now at 40% of our budget for our family missions trip! We currently have enough to buy 2 tickets to France, so we still need to raise enough to buy the other 3 tickets. But God has shown His faithfulness and people have shown their generosity over and over, so I have full confidence that He will provide all that we need!***

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I wanted to share something God spoke to me a few days ago. I was reading in John chapter 2 about Jesus' first miracle- water into wine. His family was at a wedding and suddenly there was no more wine for the celebration. Jesus asked some servants to fill six huge jars to the brim full of water. And when the master of ceremonies tasted it, he was shocked to discover the groom's family had "saved the best" for last.

Then I read the short devotional in my Bible on the next page. It asked a simple question- What do you want from Jesus? If He stood before me and asked, what would I say? After some reflection, I realized my answer would be "more of You." I have pain that needs healing, faults that need fixing in me, dreams that I want to see fulfilled. But more than any of those things, I realize what I need is more of Jesus. I want Him to fill me to overflowing. Then, nothing else will matter, and everything else will fall into place- healing, transformation, fulfillment. Yes, I want God to fill me to overflowing with more of Him.

Then I read my devotional in Streams in the Desert: "Each of these is God's way of providing vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill... the Lord is saying to you, 'Bring them here to me.' Firmly hold the vessels before Him, in faith and in prayer. Remain still before Him and stop your restless working until He begins to work... Allow God time to work and He surely will. Then... will become God's opportunity to reveal His grace and glory in your life, in ways you have never known before" (Streams, 211).

In John 2:11, I had underlined this- "He thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him." Jesus' first miracle, turning the jars of water into wine, caused the disciples to believe in Him. So I felt like God was saying to me, to bring my empty jars, filled with ordinary stuff, or even pain and longing, and He would do a miracle- He would fill me to overflowing with Himself. So that it would reveal His glory and I would put my faith in Him and believe.

"What a source- God!... It is your heavenly privilege to trust all your needs to His glorious riches, to forget all your needs in the presence of His riches, in His great love... Go in and draw upon Him in simple childlike faith and you will never again have the need to rely on anything else" (Streams, 210). Just like the woman at the well, I can draw on God's supply of living water from the vessels He has filled within me. And I pray that God's glory would be revealed in my life and that many would believe in Him!

Stepping Out in Faith

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I'm so excited to share about an upcoming trip our family taking this summer. We have wanted to do missions for a while now. After doing a lot of research, we decided to partner with an organization called Operation Mobilization (OM). They currently have over 6,000 missionaries in over 120 countries.  You can learn more about OM through their website www.om.org.

Missions is a calling that includes our children. That is why we have chosen to go on a short-term missions trip with our kids this summer, living out our calling to be a missionary family. They have been very involved in this process. We’ve talked about why it’s important to tell people about Jesus and give up our comforts in order to serve and love people as He did. We have studied maps and learned about people groups, reading about different cultures’ beliefs and customs. And we’ve talked about which countries would be interesting to visit.

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We have the opportunity to go to Clermont-Ferrand, a village in south-central France at the end of July. The OM missionaries there are partnering with local churches to hold a week-long outreach to the community. We will be sharing the Gospel through artistic performances, literature distribution, children’s clubs, and International services, as well as ministering to the local churches.

Our kids are excited because they will be able to directly participate in evangelism to other children, so we asked them to share why they want to go:

“I want to tell them about God so that they will tell other people about what we told them. They need to know about what God did for us. He sent down his son, Jesus to die on the cross for us. It seems fun to tell people about God, like talking with them and teaching them.” (Daniel, 9)

“It’s important to tell people about God because then they can tell more and more and more people. God can do anything and He has powers and He can snap His fingers and destroy people, but He doesn’t want to destroy us. He tells us things in our hearts that we’re supposed to do, like clean up, and help other people that don’t have any food or if their car is broken. I’m excited that we get to do the puppets and do preaching and stuff because we need to learn about God because that’s really important. And I’m excited that we will do a band. Mommy will play the piano, and Emily will play the guitar, and Daniel will sing, and Daddy will do the drums, and I will dance.” (Timothy, 5)

“I want to go to help people learn more about God, because He wants us to share it with them. And He equips us with knowledge to give to other people, because they need to know God. I love France, and I’m excited that I’ll get to be with other people and help them learn about God. I’d love to do music and talk to little kids about Jesus. I’d tell them God rocks.” (Emily, 12)

We can’t wait to share the Good News with this community in France! But in order to get there, we need help. The total cost for the trip, flights, and passports for the kids is around $10,000. Our deposit of $1086.00 is due on May 23rd. It seems almost impossible that we could raise such a big amount of money in only two months, but we have seen God’s faithful provision for our family many, many times.  In less than a week, we have already raised over 10% of our funds! We strongly believe He is calling us to go, so we are stepping out in childlike faith. We are so excited that our children will see this faith in action, and will witness God’s faithful response to our obedience.

If you would like to donate to our trip, please let us know. We are working on the logistics of paying for the trip and for flights separately. Regardless if you can give or not, we would ask that you join with us in prayer. This missions trip is an adventurous challenge for our family, so please pray for God to prepare our hearts and the people we will minister to. Pray that the Lord will help us raise all the money we need, keep us safe, and that He will challenge and use each member of our family greatly in this work. We want to leave France knowing and resembling our Savior even more.

Thank you so much for your help!

Ted, Michelle, Emily, Daniel, Timothy & Judah Wallace :)

For My Own Good

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I read a devotional the other day that kicked me in the pants- in a good way. The verse was from Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." And it was about how Paul, although doing the work of God, had faced such immense suffering. Shouldn't God's favor have protected Paul from so much trouble?

In my head, I know the answers for Paul's case. His suffering produced character traits in him that wouldn't have been learned otherwise. His response to the trials brought tremendous glory to God, and won people to the Lord. And he was able to lead with compassion because he understood pain. There are so many reasons why God allows suffering. It's easy to see it in Biblical examples.

But in my own life, I've been acting like I believe something else. Like because I want to serve the Lord, everything should be going great. I shouldn't have to wait for His promises. It's not fair. I've been good, tried hard to be perfect, even. I've should have earned His attention by now... And then I recognize my bad attitude and switch to the opposite. I guess because I'm stuck in this rut it means I'm not worthy of God's love or attention. I must be unloveable. I can't do anything for God...

Sometimes I need an in-your-face reminder that I've got it all backwards. In Romans 9:16-17, Paul reminds us that God's promise "does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says... 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' "

I can't be good enough or try hard enough to earn God's blessing. He chooses to love and promise good things to me because He simply chose to. So when I feel like I deserve more, I remember that I can't earn it. And when I feel unworthy, I remember that it's ok because He gets more glory. God uses the weak to display His power.

In the meantime, I remind myself that God loves me. And if He loves me, then He will work all things together for my good. So I must continue to trust and wait until He sends an answer. So really, once again it's about faith that God will do what He's promised. And once again I must ask Him to change me, not my circumstances. And once again I must ask for His grace to cover me while I'm waiting.

Awakening

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During worship at church this past Sunday, I had a realization. I have been sleepwalking through life for a while. And not just because I have a newborn at home. Of course, there's that. But long before I was even pregnant, I started to fall asleep. Disappointments lead to shutting down tiny pieces of my heart, until I had finally pressed a button to turn it off altogether. Suddenly things I was passionate about didn't seem to matter much. The color and beauty of life faded to a gray cloud that seemed to follow me around. And just like when it rains outside, I got sleepy.

So often music jars me back to life. It almost slapped me in the face that day, and I needed it. As I reflected on the concept of awakening, I began to notice other issues. When my passion faded, so did my identity and self-worth. I was surprised at how they went hand in hand. Confining myself to monotony forced the best parts of me to lie dormant. I kept waiting for circumstances to change, telling myself that once things were different, I'd come back to life. I'd start to create again, be more intentional in reaching out to others, challenge myself to grow and dream. All the ways I feel alive and hopeful.

But when you build walls around your heart, you're not protecting yourself. You're trapping yourself. By the time I saw the truth of it, I was almost paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. Even simple decisions were overwhelming. And I wore shame like a blanket, suffocating my mind and covering the truth. God's truth about Himself, and how He saw me.

I woke up to all of this and cried out for help. I know what God's Word says, but I realized I didn't believe it applied to me. Then I was more ashamed, more self-loathing. But somewhere in that cycle, I decided to try a different tactic. What if I simply chose to believe God, even for just a week? Despite my feelings and recent experiences, just chose in child-like faith to accept His Word as truth for myself. The truth that He not only saved me from something, but for something. That He created me with a purpose in mind. That no time is ever wasted, no situation is ever unredeemable. That He will work all things together for my good. That He is leading and guiding me and will never forsake me. That I don't have to be perfect. And especially that I am His precious daughter, and nothing could ever separate me from His love.

This week I chose to put aside my negative emotions, erosive doubts, and debilitating fears. To once again embrace the God He says He is. And as soon as I allowed myself to just believe it, I felt hope rise up inside my heart. I felt freer, lighter, more awake. I remembered what I always told others- that faith is a choice. It doesn't always make sense. But when you embrace it, that tiny seed of hope grows into assurance and trust and even peace that goes beyond understanding. I'm not fully back to where I was, alive and able to dream with abandon. But I know I've taken a step back in the right direction. My heart has been awakened again.

Ups and Downs

(Eastman Johnson, "The Girl I Left Behind Me")


"Jesus is holding up your name on the palms of His hands. The Holy Spirit simply awaits your act of trust, so He may whisper in your heart the echo of the answer from the throne of God, 'It is done.'" -A.B. Simpson

Well, I must be honest. Life has been up and down emotionally for the last few months. I would have a few great days, where I love life and everything is beautiful, and then... not so much. I got hit a few times with some pretty bad depression. It's always scary, because I don't know how far I will sink, or when I'll come back up for air again.

In those times, I keep doing what I know to do. Keep taking the meds, keep clinging to God, keep talking & not isolating, etc. I hate that I can do all the right things and still find myself whipped around like a paper doll in the storm. But praise God, He is faithful! Even when I feel myself drowning, I know He is my anchor, and I cling all the harder to Him.

Today, the Lord reminded me of Isaiah 30:18-9
"The Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all those who wait for him! O people... you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you."

Yesterday, God reminded me of Daniel 9:23, 10:12
"As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given... Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them."

It's been like this for months. As I've cried out to God for direction, strength, peace, anything- He has comforted and answered me in His Word and through the words of others. So my encouragement to you is this- cry out to God for whatever it is that you need. He will answer. It may not be the answer you're wanting, or He may just say to wait for His timing, but He is always faithful to respond.

Storms and Peace

Last night as I flipped through my journal, I noticed something. This year has been really hard. It seems like it's been one thing after another since January. Every journal entry was full of angst or restlessness or desperation. In between there were lots of prayers, and sometimes peace. Then something else would hit hard, and I'd be writing to release the emotions again.

Then in my devotional this morning, I read something that stopped me in my tracks. "Have you ever prayed to be more like Christ? Have you ever asked for the fruits of the spirit- love, patience, gentleness...? If so, are you surprised that you're surrounded by storms and difficulties?" God uses these hardships to develop and strengthen our faith. I've asked many times to be more like Jesus. To love like Him, think and act like Him. So it shouldn't surprise me that I've been surrounded by problems and pain. In His mercy, God is shaping me and refining me, in order to answer my prayer- that I would be more like Christ.

I'm not sure if it's working or not. In fact at the moment, I feel confused and weak and messy. The constant strain of financial pressure means that I now have to look for a job, we're trying to decide on degree programs, career paths, ministry options, relationship tensions, and more. If being needy means staying on my knees, I told God long ago to let me have it. I probably should've just asked for a million dollars.

But He's more interested in shaping my character than giving me a comfortable existence. And whenever I start to whine about where I am in life, I muster up my faith and declare again, "I choose to trust You, God." Lately, I've been repeating that phrase over and over again. That's what faith is, anyway. Believing in something without seeing any evidence of it. I'm believing that He will hold my hand and walk me through this, one step at a time. And that's all I need right now. The peace of knowing I'm not alone in this. I choose to believe.